


Regretti Sapaghetti

by Dildo_Swaggins_T_Baggins



Category: Transformers Animated (2007)
Genre: M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Mind Manipulation, Murder, Secret Identity, Shit OCs, Single Parents, Transformer Sparklings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-29 09:39:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17805605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dildo_Swaggins_T_Baggins/pseuds/Dildo_Swaggins_T_Baggins
Summary: Leave your home and safety to become a spy for your lord, logical. Frame an innocent mech to cover your tracks, logical. Become head of Autobot Intel, logical. Find a mate to cover your true identity, logical. Leave your comfortable life with your mate to return home when another civil war breaks out, logical.





	Regretti Sapaghetti

**Author's Note:**

> God dammit Dildo why do you do this to yourself?  
> Suffer with me!

_His fuel pump quickened, his frame shook and his vocalizer was stuck in an endless loop of resets. It left like his spark was going far faster than his peds ever could, that it busted out of his chest ages ago and now it was running across the universe._

_Longarm Prime paused, faceplate deep in his work, finally setting down the data pads before meeting Blurr’s optics. “How can I help you, agent Blurr?”_

_He was sure he felt his spark slam into his plates, begging for Longarm’s. “I uhhh…” He shuffled his peds, his digits digging painfully into his plating, scraping off paint._

_Longarm frowned, getting to his peds. “Agent Blur-”_

_“Iloveyou!...If-I-kept-it-quiet-any-longer-I’m-sure-I-would’ve-blownup,or-my-spark-would’ve-burst-and-”_

 

**Deleted**

Shockwave stared down at Blurr, _his_ sweet little hyper Blurr, Blurr the only mech in the whole universe who stole his spark. The blue mech was in recharge, laying still on the berth they shared, he looked awfully small on the massive berth, alone. Shockwave for once in his life didn’t fight his emotions, leaning down and tracing Blurr’s plating, a tiny gesture, something only a few mechs would do.

 

    **Deleted**

 

That one hurt, he cycled, resting his helm against Blurr’s. There that memory goes, it wasn’t something huge, nothing like a massive fight or glorious date. It was a drive along the sea of rust at sunset, there was nothing ‘big’ about it, but it was happiness, that Blurr was happy with him as much as he was with the tiny racer. That Blurr for once wasn't racing along the horizon favoring Longarm over his love of speed. And it was gone. “It’s for the best Shockwave.”

    Blurr mumbled, his peds shifted.

    “Hush...Hush Blurr.” He kissed the lip plates again, rubbing comforting circles down the Blurr's back.

 

    **Deleted**

 

He didn’t care as the floor creaked under his weight, that he had to give in, his body stressing as he cleaned tender memories away from _his_ lovely Blurr. It was the first time they held one another after interface, still reeling from the emotions, what it was like to be so close to some that you have your spark too. He felt how glad Blurr was, how _his_ spark wanted to share the same chamber as Shockwave’s.

 

    It took all of the night cycle to delete the relationship that Blurr had with him, stealing one last glance at a life and a bond he could've had. “It’s for the best Shockwave…”

* * *

 

“They say it won't be long for the Autobot forces to overpower the ‘cons.” The news reporter said. “Sentinel Magnus even states that the military has leads on the home base ‘New Kaon’.”

    Blurr threw himself onto the massive sofa, chewing some energon gummies. “About time.” He snapped to himself. _What Autobot didn’t hate those Decepticons?_ The only few mechs who were fighting Sentinel was that ragtag group of academy washouts. Idiots, the ‘cons needed to be weeded out, hunted down and thrown into the pits of Unicron himself.

    Blurr turned off the holoscreen getting to his peds and leaving the gummies out, returning to his berth room and flopping up onto the massive berth. There was a point in his life that he wanted to share the berth, share it with someone special.

    Longarm Prime _died_ solar cycles ago. They say the cons kidnapped him and sent back a few scrap parts, _disgusting creatures they were._

 

It was a battle, not his first, and Primus knows not his last. He grinned dashing across the torn landscape, slamming into another tank frame, the mech gasped as he was pushed in the way of a fusion blast. He jumped over the lifeless frame, speeding down another hill and slamming into another ‘con allowing an Autobot to escape to cover. Racing gave him freedom, war gave him this high, a revenge he could never fill, not until every 'con was slag, it filled his spark with something more.

    Blurr gasped as another frame slammed into him, the world whirring around him, bouncing off the ground and rolled, his helm digging into the burnt ground. He hissed jumping up and spinning around to see another mech, much younger, taller with dark purples and blues. A racer frame Decepticon?

    He laughed crossing his arms. “I always hear stories of the infamous _Autobot_ Blurr.”

    Blurr couldn’t help but grin. “Finally a mech that can keep up, let’s see how fast you can run.” He bolted to the right, speeding up the crater wall.

    He heard the other mech running after him, easily keeping pace, snaking his way next to Blurr. He was tall much taller than Blurr, but his body was sleek, thin and even resembles a little of Blurr, sharing the same shoulder plating and even peds. He sported a dark mix of blue, purple and silver, spikes and treads accented his frame. The only thing that struck Blurr was the big red optic.

    “What’s your name _new spark?_ ” He asked as they jumped over another greying frame.

    “What’s it to you?” He snapped, kicking an Autobot in the helm.

    Blurr hissed, spinning around and kicking the mech’s legs out from under him, the mech gasped, caught himself and front flipped to face Blurr, grinning. “Not bad.”

    “Do you expect anything else from a mech who was trained by _General Strika_ and _Lord Megatron_?” He ran forward, slamming his servo down, easily creating a creator in the ground where Blurr stood. He had enough power to turn Blurr into slag with a single hit, he was a war frame. 

    “Megatron and Strika? That’s an impressive resume, so you’ve got a Sire in high places?” He shot at the new spark, grinning to see that he struck a nerve with the 'con.

    “Never knew my _Sire_ , my _Carrier_ didn’t tell us much about him.” He launched a heap of building at Blurr. “So why are you fighting?” He changed the topic. 

    “I’m a soldier, used to be a spy, the same excuse as every Autobot, ‘cons ruined my life excuse.” He dodged the chunk, running forward, slamming into the mech, they rolled down another hill punching and kicking one another. Blurr had to admit the young ‘con could dent some vital plating. He was tossed off like a toy a sparkling would play with. Recovering as the 'con ran circles around him, trapping him. “So why do you fight? I’m going to guess your Carrier wanted to you defend New Kaon?”

    “Quite the opposite, he wanted me to stay far away from the fighting, we got into a few fights. He begged General Strika and Lord Megatron to train me, he still doesn’t want me out here.” 

    “Sounds sweet for a ‘con.” Blurr kicked out his ped, tripping the mech and throwing him into a violent tumble. He didn’t hesitate to grab a long pipe and to ram it into the tumbling mech, striking his spark chamber.

    The young mech howled in pain, clutching the piping, his claws digging into it. His one optics met Blurr’s, there was fear, sadness, and regret. “I think my Carrier was right.” He blurted out, his peds twitching and turning grey.

    “What’s your name kid?”

    He laughed. “My Carrier named me Slip Sparrow, he said my Sire liked these little flying creatures.”

    “It’s a good name. You would've been a great racer, kept up with me.” Blurr sat back as the kid slipped away, he felt cold, really cold. It was a new spark, far too young to be on the battlefield, but ‘cons didn’t care about that. The red optic faded to black as his frame went limp and grey. The battle faded away, he knew he should retreat with his side, but his limbs felt heavy, like the weight of Cybertron slammed down on him. "Shame you were created on the wrong side, would've liked to race you."

    A shadow consumed him, meeting red optics of Megatron himself. “You’ve made a very foolish mistake _Autobot_ , and I will see that you will pay for it.” He reached down grabbing Blurr and crushing his torso in. “But not by my servos. _Tell me have you ever seen a Carrier after the loss of a sparkling?_ ”

 

* * *

 

He got the news, his sparklings got the news, he would’ve found it funny that he was the first to arrive at Megatron’s base before his other sparklings could. No mech stood in his way, none of them saw him like this before, not even Megatron. Lord Megatron tried to keep up with him, yelling at mechs ahead to open the doors, Shockwave didn’t slow down, not even as he crushed one of their legs or mindlessly threw two out of the way. His spark was racing he left it, only thinking that Sparrow had a few dents, not this.

    “How could I have let this happen?” He mumbled to himself, his spark pulsing running down another hall only to be stopped at Megatron grabbed his shoulder first.

    His Lord stared at him, only drawing in a long vent before asking a spark shattering question. “Would you like to see _him_ first, or his _killer_?”

    His shoulders sunk down, every part of his spark howled to run to his sparkling, cradle the lifeless frame and shut the world away. He knew he’d be broken, far too broken to handle the mech on the examination table, unable to enjoy the screams of Sparrow's killer. His spark boiled with rage, claws felt a new need to tear into protoform instead of hold it. “Take me to his murderer, I want to see that mech’s reaction to what he’s done.”

    Megatron nodded before clearing his vocalizer. “And… your other sparklings?”

    “Take them to see they’re the older brother, tell them I’ll be there with his murderer soon.”

    Megatron let go of him, pointing down another hallway. “At the end, it’s locked but there are no codes, do what you please my friend.” He frowned giving Shockwave all the room he could ever need.

    He turned sharply, stomping down the hall, the doors slid open as the stomped into the holding cell. He stopped, his spark breaking in two. “Primus no.” Blue frame, large shoulder plates and all too familiar peds, just like Sparrow's. A tiny blue Autobot glared at him, ready to face whatever punishment Shockwave could dish out. Shockwave stood still, his spark split in two, reunite with his long lost mate or rip the Autobot in half and watch him squeal. 

    “So you’re the _Carrier_? Who knew _Shockwave_ would be a Carrier?” Blurr grinned proud of what he did.

    “Quiet, now is not the time for petty chatter.” He unlocked the cell, stepping in, snatching up Blurr in one servo, claws itching to feel energon. The tiny Autobot struggled in his grasp, kicking and hitting trying to escape. Shockwave held him still, feeling around his subspace for the patch link cable he used all those solar cycles ago. Blurr struggled even harder, fear in his optics as he knew what that wire could do.

    Shockwave felt the tiny pinch as it synced into his processor, he pinned Blurr’s helm in his digits, twisting it to the side and pulling back plating. Blurr fought like a rabid turbo fox, screaming, biting, he went limp when the wire connected processors. Staring up at Shockwave, at first his faceplate was frozen in an unreadable expression, then it set in Shockwave’s spark break. Blurr gasped, his optics watering with washer fluid as emotions overwhelmed him.

    “Why are you doing this?” Blurr whispered out overwhelmed by Shockwave’s emotions.

 

    _He waited, sitting at the refueling table, Watcher and Heavy Gears sat quietly, every now and then they’d shuffle with anxiety. Shockwave wanted to comfort them like they were the same tiny sparklings from all those cycles ago, but he stayed there waiting worrying over the oldest sparkling._

_Slip Sparrow finally returned home, young, stubborn and just like his Sire. He halted in the doorway meeting his Carrier’s optic. “Carrier.”_

_Shockwave vented, standing over his creation. “When were you going to tell us?”_

_Slip Sparrow turned away, his helm antennas sinking back. “When...When I was trained and strong enough so you wouldn’t worry.”_

_“I’m your Carrier I’m always going to worry.” He reached out only to have his servos swatted away._

_Sparrow hissed. “I know your spark is broken due to our Sire no longer being with us, but I can take care of myself.” He snapped anger radiating off of his frame._

_Shockwave backed away, his shoulders slinking down. “You’re doing this because of the Autobots advancement?”_

_Sparrow folded his arms, unable to meet his creator’s optic. “Yes, we’ve always been running and I’m tired of running.” He reset his optic, his digits tapping on his own plating. “What happened to the Shockwave that I hear about? You infiltrated Cybertron for Cycles, you’ve cured thousands of illnesses, and you’re a well known Decepticon and scientist.”_

_Shockwave laughed, looking at his oldest creation and then the other two who sat and watched, his spark melted. “I found out I was carrying, and I couldn't be happier with that choice.”_

 

Blurr snarled, fighting his grasp. “I get it that kid was _your creation!_ ” He struggled even more as Shockwave held him even tighter. “You should’ve kept him _safe_ like a good carrier would’ve done!”

 

_“Carrier!” A loud screech followed as a tiny new spark ran into his lab unable to stop moving. Shockwave dropped what he was doing scooping up the tiny frame before he slammed into the wall, again. Slip Sparrow giggled crawling up his arm and onto his shoulder, as siblings ran in, far slower than their brother. Heavy Gears jumped up, clinging onto his knee and crawling up. Watcher only stayed back, observing the best course of action, she grinned following Heavy Gears but climbing up on the other leg, using his treads. Shockwave laughed picking them both up and setting all three of his little sparks on his work table, setting aside anything that they would fiddle with._

_All three of them played, Watcher always watched her two brothers rough house before making a logical decision before throwing herself into the fight and easily pinning her brothers. He watched them his tanks sparked and his own spark melted as they easily wearing themselves out. Watcher was the first to yawn and curl up against her creator’s spark chamber, while Slip Sparrow and Heavy Gears played a little longer before doing the same. He cradled them as he worked, humming as they slept. He rarely had time to himself but he didn’t mind, each one of his creations brought new joys to his life. Heavy Gears was strong slow, but very independent, he took after Shockwave, Watcher was logical, quiet but knew exactly what to say, then there was Slip Sparrow. He glanced over to the dent in the wall unable to not laugh, Sparrow was like his Sire, cocky, fast, and at times would talk one’s ear off._

_They wiggled in his arms as he stood up, holding them tightly as if dropping them would cause a star to explode. Surprised to find that it was well into the night cycle, Shockwave locked his lab and when to his brethroom. Setting his sparklings down on a soft cushion before laying down himself. He watched them wiggle and vent, tracing little details from their frames, it helped after the loss of their Sire. He still loved their Sire, but it was Illogical, impossible for them to share sparks again. But he was content with the three gifts that recharged next to him every night._

 

“I get it they’re _your sparklings!_ ” Blurr gave to struggling only glaring at him with defiance. “Okay I’m sorry, I took Slip Sparrow from you, I shouldn’t have done that!” His optics started to water and his vocalizer was fading into static, he was breaking.

 

_He found out a few cycles ago, he was carrying… great. He admitted to himself he wasn’t exactly happy with the news but it didn’t take long for him to warm up to the idea. He started taking fewer risks, rarely hesitating to protect himself, finding quiet places and more then enough energon. He’d often find himself patting his spark chamber or even his gestation chamber. It wouldn’t be long now before they emerged. The first time he saw the tiny sparks in a mirror, but after constant nausea and lack of energy was all worth it when he felt their emotions, their sparks wiggled against his. He may never be able to step foot on a battle field due to strain, but it was worth it. He sat on the makeshift breth, he was still fleeing from Cybertron, hitching a ride on a transport. He hoped that New Kaon wouldn’t be much longer, wishing to be back in his lab, somewhere safe, a place he could call home. He did, however, have one regret, leaving their Sire behind. He cupped a servo around his midsection, it ached to leave him behind, after everything that they’ve been through. His mate had no idea he was a spy, he could never know. It was painful leaving them behind, far more painful than any battle wound, he left a piece of him._

 

Blurr shivered in his grasp, giving in as Shockwave’s emotions overpowered his own. “Please stop.” The tiny mech felt his pain, his spark breaking, the loss of _his mate_ , and now _his sparkling._

 

_He gasped shaking under the tiny blue frame. “I didn’t think you’d be that determined” He knew that the little Autobot had been wanting this for quite a while but not to the point that Blurr’s whole servo was inside him, lust and love ran through his frame._

_He laughed pressing a soft kiss on top of the red gem. “I mean you’ve been teasing me for a few cycles now.” His whole servo pulled out, Longarm gasped sparks running up his plating, his valve clenched at nothing. Pressing on his nub, Longarm’s thighs jerked, gasping. “I mean can you blame me?” He smiled, rubbing his digit around agonizingly slow around his nub. “I mean, who knew the little cutie running communications could be so tempting?”_

_Longarm let out another soft gasp as Blurr pushed down a little harder, kissing him and leaning back. “I think the rest of the office know’s that you’ve called dibs on me.”_

_Blurr laughed at that. “Are you sure?”_

_“I’m positive, I was chatting with a femme awhile ago and Cliffjumper pulled her aside, and I overheard that ‘Longarm is Blurr’s, trust me that speedster is ready to wretch him, and racing frames know how to wretch’.” He didn’t think Blurr's blush could get any worse._

_“You’re so cute, I mean you’re handsome, but you’re also really cute!” Blurr giggled, slipping his spike in, Longarm gasped, his hips pushing closer to Blurr’s_

 

“STOP!” Blurr yanked the cord out of his processor, his whole body collapsing to the ground, venting like a rabid turbo-fox. Unable to stop sobbing, staring up at him. “Y-you can’t be…” His vocalizer glitched as the words froze and fell like stones in his intake. “You died.”

Shockwave hung his helm, sliding a claw along his darker antenna. “I faked it, I had to escape. Or would you rather have found out when I was with you...and our sparklings?”

Blurr sobbed, he held Shockwave’s servo to his helm, crying into it. “We had three.” He vented, curling in on himself.

“Do you want to meet them?” Shockwave leaned down, pulling Blurr into a hug, lifting him and holding him.

“ _Please_ …”

* * *

 

The first meeting went as well as he suspected, Watcher and Heavy Gears wanted to tear him in half, Shockwave stepped in and explained. Yet his creations glared at him, Shockwave kept a tight hold on him, yet openly grieved over his off-lined creation. Blurr comforted him, his own spark breaking. They left, traveling to their _family_ home, no one spoke, Blurr stuck close to Shockwave, watching as war-frames glared at them. Some mumbled others growled, and even a few pointed their weapons at them.

“I bet they’re all traitors, no wonder his sparklings were so small.”

Shockwave heard that, scooping Blurr up, before spinning around and towering over the mech. “Be glad that I’m banned from the battlefront, and it looks like _you are too youngling_.” He snapped towering over the frame, making the youngling quiver in his plating before stomping off.

Once they reached the home, the creations went to grab a few cubes as Shockwave set Blurr down in what looked like his berthroom. Blurr laid on the berth, not moving, the crushing weight of it all paralyzed him. Shockwave could only stare at his mate, his servo hovered over Blurr's back, only turning away leaving Blurr to his own vices.

It was muffled but he heard it all.

_“When were you going to tell us?”_

_“I hoped this would never happen. I never planned for it.”_

_“So we weren't ever supposed to know who our Sire is?”_

_“No and he was never supposed to know of you.”_

_“So what are we? Half ‘bot half ‘con?”_

_“No, you’re our creations.”_

_“That mech in there isn’t our Sire.” There was some shuffling. “Come on Gears.”_

_“Where do you think you’re going?” The floor creaked under Shockwave._

_“Out, away from that mech!"_

_"That mech is your Sire!"_

_"And he killed Sparrow!"_

There was a brief pause, Blurr imagined the both of them venting, staring at one another. The femme,no Watcher hissed and stomped out, a few moments later the other mech, Heavy Gears followed.

His spark ached, his processor looping as old memories collided with the new ones. He only heard the door slide shut as Shockwave knelt down next to him.

    “I suppose you heard that?” A claw ran down his back, tracing his plating.

    Blurr rolled over, unable to look at this mate. “They’re _right_ you know. They have a right to hate me, _I killed their brother._ ”

    Shockwave didn’t say anything for a moment. “No, they’re lost, grieving and striking out to whoever they can reach.” He sat next to Blurr, rubbing his back. “If they hate anyone it should be me. I kept it secret from both parties.”

    Blurr laid still, feeling as if the whole weight of Cybertron pressed on his spark chamber. “What are you doing?”

    Shockwave blinked, his servo stopped stroking Blurr’s back. “What do you mean?”

    He shifted away from Shockwave unable to stare at his mate. “You should hate me, why are you comforting me?”

    Shockwave’s optic dimmed. “To put it simply, _I need you_. I lost a sparkling Blurr, and I can’t lose you now.”

    Blurr rolled onto his back looking up at the ceiling. He turned towards Shockwave, and realized that the tank former was right, he inched closer to the purple scientist. Resting his helm on a shoulder tread, his spark chamber next to Shockwave’s, feeling for once the weak bond that they had. Shockwave pulled him closer, pain and sadness burning through the bond.

    “Thank you.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up!  
> https://dildo-swaggins-t-baggins.tumblr.com/


End file.
